Reflection and Gratitude

  
Sometimes it takes a moment away from one’s normal schedule to truly reflect on where you are and how far God has brought you.  Often the struggles make the good times seem all that more sweet. Both those truths were illuminated to me this weekend.  

We once again returned to Steamboat, this time for the Winter Carnival.  I was reminded of the summer spent in this beautiful place.  Though the scenery was gorgeous, it will always be a dark time to me.  A time of great physical pain due to my flare-up of Crohn’s Disease, a disease I have lived with since a child.  A time of great emotional pain due to various situations and my husband struggling with depression.  I know God used the experiences.  I know He had a plan.  I know He is molding and shaping us for His purposes. I am sure I will never be completely the same again and that is a good thing. It is growth.  That said, it was difficult.

As I watched my kids play and sled this weekend, and was able to play with them, joy filled my heart.  As I listened to videos my husband took of me being silly and giggling, I was ecstatic to think that I was back to my old self.  I felt light on my feet.  I could live in the moment. I could emjoy the time with the ones I love without feeling restricted.

It’s been 9 months this week since the day my world came crashing in.  God has done an amazing healing in both Craig and my life.  I will not say it has been easy.  We have put forth a lot of effort and discipline.  However, God has been faithful.  I continue to manage the disease with diet, exercise, and natural medicine.  I do not know what the future holds, and what will be needed, but for now my inflammation is down and my levels are good.  Regardless of what is ahead, I vow to bask in this beautiful moment and treasure it. Tears fill my eyes as I think about God’s love, tender mercies, and unending faithfulness to me.  I know I do not deserve this life, but I am grateful for it!

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