The day I have dreaded almost here! Yes, I am one of those mothers that are less than excited about the start of school. I could list a multitude of reasons. I like being with my children. Back to school symbolizes the end of summer, and I love summer. We now have to wake up to an alarm each morning. My days are no longer full of play, conversations with little people, snuggles, and giggles. I return to spending countless hours a day in my mommyvan. The freedom of the break is over. I am reminded that my children are growing up and I am not ready for that.
However, if I were to dig deeper, I would tell you the hardest part of back to school is letting go. I like to hold on tightly. Returning to school prohibits me from being in control of many of the circumstances in my children’s life. I may not be present when they do not understand something. I may not be able to defend them if someone says something unkind. I may not be able to observe their playground behavior and make sure it is “safe”. I may not be able to monitor everything that they are taught to ensure it is correct according to my biblical world view.
This is an ongoing struggle for me as a mother. The mathematical side of me has searched for the perfect formula to ensure the parenting outcome I desire. Sadly, it does not exist. I have come to the conclusion that a large part of motherhood is about “letting go and letting God”. I can teach my children to make wise choices. I can encourage them to weigh all of the information they are given against what God says in the Bible, to discern if it is truth. Yet the reality is, I cannot control everything for my children. I cannot make things happen or avoid their happening to create the “perfect” childhood. All I can do is pray continually for my babies and trust that God knows what He is doing, and what is best for each of my unique offspring. So, as I tearfully drop them off at our neighborhood elementary school on Monday morning, I will once again pray and trust God with their precious lives. Letting go is never easy…but a necessary part of being a parent.